Showing Up - Insights from a Funeral

God’s been working on me a lot lately and I wanted to share just a little of what he has put on my heart.  Back in June, one of my favorite preachers who lives back in Abilene gave a sermon called Mundane Miracles after being with a family who celebrated a wedding and had a funeral in the same weekend.  Here is a quick summary.  He talks of Jesus and how over and over again we see Jesus right in the middle of regular old life.  In his first miracle in John we see him at a wedding and then at his last miracle in John we see him at a funeral.  He attends parties and send-offs, preaches to thousands or sits down and talks to one person.  So in this sermon, he talks about how often the kingdom of God at work in our lives is just showing up. Just being there. Making your face known, smiling and nodding, or saying sorry for your loss. To just be there in the yuckiness and junk of life and also in the joys of life.  

He tells of a story of when he was 13 years old and his teenage cousin died in a car accident.  Soon after he died, people started showing up at his house. But he had to get away so he went outside and started shooting baskets.  After a while of this, a man from the church came outside, walked right by him and just started rebounding and throwing  him back the ball as he shot without saying a word.  As he continued to do this, Damon’s anger eventually turned to tears and he broke down.  At that point, the man came to him, put his hand on his shoulder, and said, “Damon, I’m sorry.” and went inside. And at the moment it brought a little piece of Jesus right to where he was by just have a willingness to be there. To just love him where he was in the moment.  This story made a huge impact on me when I heard it.  He also told of how shortly after his wedding, he had a death in his wife’s family and his parents, who had just driven 5 hours back to their home, had turned around and driven back to just be there and sit and attend a funeral before going back again.  When we show up and just be there we carry the love of Jesus with us even if we don’t know what to say or do. This sermon made an impact on me and I often thought about it, but it didn’t really sink in for me until this weekend.

 

You see this weekend was the memorial service for my brother-in-law who committed suicide last week.  What has meant the most to me over the past week or so is the people who showed up.  As we were sitting there waiting for the service to start, in walked one of our dear friends who lives in Macon, GA. And my eyes filled with tears as she told Kasey she was there for her.  Then there was the Owens family who made the trek down from North Carolina with their 5 kids to be there for the funeral. And as if that wasn’t enough, they came over that night and brought around 10 pizzas, including gluten-free pizzas for us to enjoy.  Their generosity and willingness to let God work through them moved me so much. Then there was Larry Cline who drove down from Tennessee to speak at the memorial, only to have to drive right back and preach on Sunday.  Then there were friends from Orlando such as Kasey’s friend Kristin, our preacher Cary and his wife, and a good friend Cheree who came over for the funeral even though they did not even know Seth at all. But just showed up for us. Then there was the people from Seth’s place of work whose presence did something that others did not.  You see they did not know anyone there, but must have spent countless hours with Seth as they worked.  Them showing up told me that Seth must have impacted their lives in some way.  You probably just don’t show up to a funeral unless that person has brought some kind of joy to your life, or been nice to you, or just been a good person that meant something to you.  So them showing up let me know Seth was making a difference even when he might not have thought he was. Then there was the many people who brought us food the week of his death.  Kasey did not have to make many meals that week because they kept coming. One person just left us a bowl of fruit at our door. They accounted for allergies and went above and beyond to make things easier for us. Then there was our friend Marissa who watched the kids on multiple occasions so that Kasey could have time to grieve and go to appointments. These are just a few of the people who showed up. That lended a hand. That gave us their presence as a way of showing God’s love to us.

As I remember my dad’s funeral, what I remember the most is the standing-room only, packed out auditorium full of people who showed up.  Who each came by and gave us hugs as they walked by.  And I remember people bringing us food and being there. And actually, to this day I still have a card in my Bible that one of his students, who was a friend from elementary school, sent us that I happened to keep.  I don’t remember if it was the only card sent by a student.  But Demetrius Collins sent a card with Psalms 55:22 written on it and some words of encouragement.  All he wrote was “God Bless”.  And I have kept it ever since.  I don’t know if I ever told him that or not, though we ended up being in the same club in college. But he sent his love through a card, like so many have also done during this time.  So as I reflect on this, I am encouraged that I need to start doing a better job at showing up.  Because now I remember how it feels when someone does.

We were originally planning to have the funeral outside at some gardens across from Kasey’s parent’s house.  But it was a good thing that God brought some rain that day.  Because we had underestimated God’s family. Because when we moved it to a church, the church was nearly full. And with all the people who showed up, it was as if Jesus himself showed up as well. With the peace and comfort that only He can. 

Thank you everyone who showed up!