Less Time = Less Influence
Recently as I have been pondering how as God's people we influence people's lives I remembered something from a class I have recently had. Imagine that. I remembered something from a class for more than a month. (And in this class, grades did not matter really but I just enjoyed the material) Anyway, the class was Ministry to Fathers taught by Steve Wages. In this class, he stressed a concept from a book called Point Man (Farrar, 1990) As we talked about how fathers influence the lives of their children, he said the formula was simple. Less Time = Less Influence.
Basically, the fathers who have an impact on the lives of their children are the ones that spend time with their children. They spend both quality time and a large quantity of time with their children. And because of the time spent with their children, they build relationships with their children and have an influence on their lives. Also, we talked about the Attachment Theory which said in order to train or have influence on someone, you first have to show love and develop a bond. Which goes back to spending time with them. Just because a father is in the home does not mean he is not an absent father. Trying to climb the corporate ladder or even just coming home and sitting in front of the television can reduce the amount of time spent with children.
So I liked what Connor said in reply to the last post about Jesus trying to "get involved" in the lives of people. Jesus seemed to realize that there was a relationship between the amount of time and the amount of influence he had on people. The twelve apostles spent day in and day out spending time with Jesus and thus were highly influenced by him. Jesus loved to enter people's houses and eat with them. However, I think it is important to note that Jesus only had twelve apostles who he spent a lot of time with. These are the people who he had a whole lot of influence on. And then they could spend time with more people who could spend time with and influence more people. And with each person influencing a small amount of people they could spread the gospel unto all the world.
Here is a paragraph that didnt make the final cut of my last post that I want to put into this one. Who should confront people about their lives? Should just the people who are close to the person and have a meaningful relationship with them be the one to confront them. I am not really close to very many people so I guess I have a very limited amount of people I can hold accountable if that is the case.
As I think more about these questions on my mind, I want to say "Yes" to that second question. Only the people who have a meaningful relationship with people should confront them about their lives because they are the ones that have influence on their lives. There may be exceptions but I think that is a good starting point. Therefore, I feel bad that I am not that close to very many people.
Now you may read this post and think that this is too simple. Of course Less Time = Less Influence. But then how come I dont act like it. Why do I think that four hours a week with my brothers and sisters at church are enough? Why do I get caught up in the monotony of life and do not make the time to spend with my family of God? How hard would it be to call people up from church and have dinner with people like Jesus did and talk about things going on in their lives? I read a book called "Every Man's Battle" for my Ministry to Fathers class as well. In the book, it said that when it comes to premarital sex, there is hardly a difference between teenagers who go to church and those who do not go to church. So I ponder why the church doesnt seem to have an influence on people's lives. Maybe if teenagers were spending time with other teenagers in their family of God they wouldnt engage in premarital sex. And maybe the answer is simple. We dont spend enough time with our family of God. We dont try to get involved with their lives. We say "Hi, how are you doing. How was your week?" on Sunday and think it is enough. Well, maybe not "we", maybe it is just me. But anyway, I think maybe time is a big factor.
Basically, the fathers who have an impact on the lives of their children are the ones that spend time with their children. They spend both quality time and a large quantity of time with their children. And because of the time spent with their children, they build relationships with their children and have an influence on their lives. Also, we talked about the Attachment Theory which said in order to train or have influence on someone, you first have to show love and develop a bond. Which goes back to spending time with them. Just because a father is in the home does not mean he is not an absent father. Trying to climb the corporate ladder or even just coming home and sitting in front of the television can reduce the amount of time spent with children.
So I liked what Connor said in reply to the last post about Jesus trying to "get involved" in the lives of people. Jesus seemed to realize that there was a relationship between the amount of time and the amount of influence he had on people. The twelve apostles spent day in and day out spending time with Jesus and thus were highly influenced by him. Jesus loved to enter people's houses and eat with them. However, I think it is important to note that Jesus only had twelve apostles who he spent a lot of time with. These are the people who he had a whole lot of influence on. And then they could spend time with more people who could spend time with and influence more people. And with each person influencing a small amount of people they could spread the gospel unto all the world.
Here is a paragraph that didnt make the final cut of my last post that I want to put into this one. Who should confront people about their lives? Should just the people who are close to the person and have a meaningful relationship with them be the one to confront them. I am not really close to very many people so I guess I have a very limited amount of people I can hold accountable if that is the case.
As I think more about these questions on my mind, I want to say "Yes" to that second question. Only the people who have a meaningful relationship with people should confront them about their lives because they are the ones that have influence on their lives. There may be exceptions but I think that is a good starting point. Therefore, I feel bad that I am not that close to very many people.
Now you may read this post and think that this is too simple. Of course Less Time = Less Influence. But then how come I dont act like it. Why do I think that four hours a week with my brothers and sisters at church are enough? Why do I get caught up in the monotony of life and do not make the time to spend with my family of God? How hard would it be to call people up from church and have dinner with people like Jesus did and talk about things going on in their lives? I read a book called "Every Man's Battle" for my Ministry to Fathers class as well. In the book, it said that when it comes to premarital sex, there is hardly a difference between teenagers who go to church and those who do not go to church. So I ponder why the church doesnt seem to have an influence on people's lives. Maybe if teenagers were spending time with other teenagers in their family of God they wouldnt engage in premarital sex. And maybe the answer is simple. We dont spend enough time with our family of God. We dont try to get involved with their lives. We say "Hi, how are you doing. How was your week?" on Sunday and think it is enough. Well, maybe not "we", maybe it is just me. But anyway, I think maybe time is a big factor.
posted by D Love at 7:23 PM
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