Loving Acceptance vs. Calling People to Change
As I write this post I realize that I am not good with words so I hope and pray that I expressed what I was trying to say in this post. I would like to hear your responses on both the artice posted and my thoughts and other questions or comments you have on this issue.
My thoughts in this post will be based off a Matt's February 27th post which references this article found on the SoulForce site. (SoulForce is an organization that will be coming to ACU to discuss ACU's policy against homosexual behavior) I commend Matt for bringing up this issue on his post for discussion as it is a question and struggle that I often deal with and think about.
The question that I have to this article is how do Christians lovingly accept those who are in these situations without igniting the problem because of this acceptance. In the article, Lewis Smedes states, "Finally, in the middle 1950's, the church did reverse its policy of exclusion and began embracing divorced and remarried couples into its family circle." I do believe that this was the right thing to do and I am glad that it was done. However, and this is just my observation, this seems to be about the same time that divorce rates began to dramatically increase in the United States. (The statistics I briefly looked at seemed to support this) Therefore, there seems to be a correlation between the acceptance and the number of people who accept that as a choice. How do we as Christians maintain a balance in which we lovingly accept the people yet stand firmly against the behaviors and hold people accountable?
How do we hold accountable the unwed mother who is having her second or third child? Or the unwed couple that is living together? Or the homosexuals? Or someone who spends all their money on luxuries and doesnt help the poor? Or the drug user or alcoholic? Or the divorced couples who have been in numerous marriages? This question is hard for me on many levels. First of all, there is lots of sin in my life so what right do I even have to confront others about the sin in their life. However, we as Christians are supposed to help each other and encourage one another. The question I have is how do we go about that?
Jesus was good at telling people how it is, but how do we do that? His attitude towards the Pharisees, who also were very religious and trying to do God's will, did not resemble loving acceptance. It just seems to me like we can become accepting of everyone without really calling them to change their lives. And that leads to it just happening all the more. It seems to me like we as Christians accept everyone, as we should, but we overlook a major part in that we have to call people to be better. For example, we dont confront people about how they spend their money and so we have a materialistic nation who doesnt do a good job at helping the poor. So basically, I wonder how to integrate loving acceptance and accountability, encouragement, etc. How do we tell people, "I love you, Go and sin no more."
Somehow I think that we need to convey more that the sin is wrong. We seem to talk about God's love and grace more than his justice. If we figure out how to convey that the sin is wrong along with acceptance maybe we will have more people who come to church and try to work through their marital problems. Maybe we will have more homosexuals who go through the counseling and get through their struggles. Maybe we will have wealthy people change thier lifestyles or people who decide to quit sleeping around. But if we have a church that accepts people but does not call people to change, this will never happen. Maybe the church before the 1950's was doing something right, just like the church now is doing something right as well. It seems to me that there needs to be a balance that we have not figured out how to do.
My thoughts in this post will be based off a Matt's February 27th post which references this article found on the SoulForce site. (SoulForce is an organization that will be coming to ACU to discuss ACU's policy against homosexual behavior) I commend Matt for bringing up this issue on his post for discussion as it is a question and struggle that I often deal with and think about.
The question that I have to this article is how do Christians lovingly accept those who are in these situations without igniting the problem because of this acceptance. In the article, Lewis Smedes states, "Finally, in the middle 1950's, the church did reverse its policy of exclusion and began embracing divorced and remarried couples into its family circle." I do believe that this was the right thing to do and I am glad that it was done. However, and this is just my observation, this seems to be about the same time that divorce rates began to dramatically increase in the United States. (The statistics I briefly looked at seemed to support this) Therefore, there seems to be a correlation between the acceptance and the number of people who accept that as a choice. How do we as Christians maintain a balance in which we lovingly accept the people yet stand firmly against the behaviors and hold people accountable?
How do we hold accountable the unwed mother who is having her second or third child? Or the unwed couple that is living together? Or the homosexuals? Or someone who spends all their money on luxuries and doesnt help the poor? Or the drug user or alcoholic? Or the divorced couples who have been in numerous marriages? This question is hard for me on many levels. First of all, there is lots of sin in my life so what right do I even have to confront others about the sin in their life. However, we as Christians are supposed to help each other and encourage one another. The question I have is how do we go about that?
Jesus was good at telling people how it is, but how do we do that? His attitude towards the Pharisees, who also were very religious and trying to do God's will, did not resemble loving acceptance. It just seems to me like we can become accepting of everyone without really calling them to change their lives. And that leads to it just happening all the more. It seems to me like we as Christians accept everyone, as we should, but we overlook a major part in that we have to call people to be better. For example, we dont confront people about how they spend their money and so we have a materialistic nation who doesnt do a good job at helping the poor. So basically, I wonder how to integrate loving acceptance and accountability, encouragement, etc. How do we tell people, "I love you, Go and sin no more."
Somehow I think that we need to convey more that the sin is wrong. We seem to talk about God's love and grace more than his justice. If we figure out how to convey that the sin is wrong along with acceptance maybe we will have more people who come to church and try to work through their marital problems. Maybe we will have more homosexuals who go through the counseling and get through their struggles. Maybe we will have wealthy people change thier lifestyles or people who decide to quit sleeping around. But if we have a church that accepts people but does not call people to change, this will never happen. Maybe the church before the 1950's was doing something right, just like the church now is doing something right as well. It seems to me that there needs to be a balance that we have not figured out how to do.
posted by D Love at 11:35 AM
4 Comments:
Lots of comment on here but since I should be working I'll just say one thing. I think it is interesting to contrast the interactions between Jesus and the Pharisees and his interactions with the immoral people of society. He seemed to respond with anger towards those whose sin was creating injustice for others. Like telling the Pharisees that they were going to hell which is what the Pharisees were telling others, so pretty much throwing they're words back in their faces. But he seemed to try to get involved and understand the lives of those that had personal struggles.
Thank you Connor. The Pharisee example was probably a bad comparison and I hope it does not get in the way of the point I was trying to make. I do agree that love, involvement, and understanding are essential. Jesus sums up the law and the Prophets with "Do to others what you would have them to do you." and says the second greatest command is "Love your neighbor as yourself." Love is so powerful and transforming and without love we have nothing. I thank God for the love and mercy he extends me, and should extend that same love to others. It amazes me how much the love of Jesus and his words and actions influenced people to change their lives. I pray that the church can have that same love, influence, and transforming power as we get involved in people's lives.
good post D-love, and thoughtful comments Connor. there probably is a balance in here somewhere, yet I'm in the camp that leans more to love and acceptance in my actions while letting God and his word take more of the authoritative/accountable role. There's a fine line between judgement and true concern, yet when our first and foundational response to people is love then at least we are attempting to respond to people the way Christ did (even the Pharisees).
thanks for making me think today d-love.
You post a good post. I'll post my response both here and there.
In the article, Lewis Smedes states, "Finally, in the middle 1950's, the church did reverse its policy of exclusion and began embracing divorced and remarried couples into its family circle." I do believe that this was the right thing to do and I am glad that it was done. However, and this is just my observation, this seems to be about the same time that divorce rates began to dramatically increase in the United States.
Smedes recognizes the rise in divorce rates. However, he suggests that the increase in divorces caused churches to become more accepting, and not the other way around. Because people's families were getting divorced, they became more reluctant to exclude those people from the church on the basis of a single scripture, and they also came to recognize the catch-22 that ensnared a remarried divorcee.
How do we hold accountable the unwed mother who is having her second or third child? ... Or someone who spends all their money on luxuries and doesnt help the poor? ... We as Christians are supposed to help each other and encourage one another. The question I have is how do we go about that?
This is an hard question, and I think a good question to ask. How do we help each other to avoid sin and do the right thing?
One article I read recently suggested that sin is systemic and unchosen, more like a disease than a bad decision. If that's true, I guess "holding someone accountable" wouldn't really make any sense. Instead, we'd want to help with the symptoms of the sin and try to address its root causes. Then perhaps God could work to heal it. Of course, you can only do that if you let someone remain a part of your church.
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