A Letter from Dad
In our Wednesday night Bible class, we are studying a book called Crazy Love which has a weekly video clip that we watch as well. This week's video clip was talking about how it benefits us to think about death and asked us to share with the class someone you knew who died abruptly and tell about their accomplishments and any regrets that they may have shared with you. It then asked us to share with the class what regrets we might have if we died abruptly. This immediately made me think of a letter that my dad had written just months before he died in which he mentioned things he learned from having cancer. I do not know if it was sent to anyone or if it was just a journal type letter but I thought I would share it. I typed it up just as the one is that is typed up in my Bible. It was neat that he wrote this up and his insights can live on for a long time.
Saturday, October 2, 1999
My cancer is in remission. Two weeks ago I had a C-T Scan that showed that there was no cancer in my esophagus. The doctor ordered another test, and endoscopy for last Friday. The pictures were sure different from the pictures that were taken in July. It looked so clear of tumors that I could not believe it. There were a couple of nodules that he took biopsies of. Those came out negative. I am so thankful that my life has been spared. In the doctor’s visit yesterday, there was some sobering news, though. In July, he said that there was a 70% chance that the cancer would reappear. That is still the case. He told me that I had taken my limit of radiation therapy. If the cancer reappears in the esophagus, there is nothing that they can do for me. He said that the chemo, without radiation, is only minimally effective. If the cancer spreads to other places, that is treatable, just not where all the radiation was done. I started back to work full-time last Monday. I have felt OK this week. I have not done anything in the evening so that I could rest. When I found out that I had cancer in July, I gave up my calculus classes. I did not want them to be taught by a substitute. I had no idea that Permian would do what they did. In August, just before school started, the principal that handles the class schedules told me that the calculus classes would be held in reserve for me. I could have them back when I was up to it. (That surprised me. I thought that I was giving them up completely.) Well, I will get one of the classes back next Friday, at the end of the Nine Week grading period. I will get the other one back at the beginning of the second semester.
I taught our Bible class last Sunday for a discussion leader who was out of town. The topic was “Why Does God let Satan Hurt Us?” I decided to talk about things that I had learned in the last 3 months. I will briefly list the points I made.
1. Our God is an awesome God. When I heard the word, “cancer” I knew I was going to die. The pictures from the scope down my throat were awful. Three months later, my throat is clear. That is more than I thought possible in July. God, who made the world, can do amazing things.
2. The importance of the Christian family supporting one another. I have been blessed abundantly with card and prayer-grams and prayers of people I know. I looked forward to the mail coming. Knowing that so many people cared gave me a reason to continue.
3. I benefited from facing death. It made me think about what is really important in life. It made me admit how very fragile I am, and place my life in God’s hands.
4. There is a peace from God that comes to those who live Godly lives. Some may think that I live a boring life, but it is a life that if I die tomorrow, I would have no heart-breaking regrets.
5.Hardships have strengthened our family. Jana and I are closer than we were a year ago. My boys have seen their father in a time of weakness – very different from seeing their father as a maker-of-rules. My sisters and my parents have spent much time taking care of me.
6. This illness has made me take a good look at commitments that take me away from my family. Time is so short. I hope that I can balance the demands away from home with spending time with those I really care about.
7. Life is so uncertain that if you think that you can plan your life, you had better think again. I had just reached a level of professional respect that I had worked all my life to achieve. I had plans for the future. Those plans melted in a moment when the doctor said, “You have cancer.” The lesson is that we should always realize that we are in God’s hands. We should guard against feelings of self-importance.”
David Love
Saturday, October 2, 1999
My cancer is in remission. Two weeks ago I had a C-T Scan that showed that there was no cancer in my esophagus. The doctor ordered another test, and endoscopy for last Friday. The pictures were sure different from the pictures that were taken in July. It looked so clear of tumors that I could not believe it. There were a couple of nodules that he took biopsies of. Those came out negative. I am so thankful that my life has been spared. In the doctor’s visit yesterday, there was some sobering news, though. In July, he said that there was a 70% chance that the cancer would reappear. That is still the case. He told me that I had taken my limit of radiation therapy. If the cancer reappears in the esophagus, there is nothing that they can do for me. He said that the chemo, without radiation, is only minimally effective. If the cancer spreads to other places, that is treatable, just not where all the radiation was done. I started back to work full-time last Monday. I have felt OK this week. I have not done anything in the evening so that I could rest. When I found out that I had cancer in July, I gave up my calculus classes. I did not want them to be taught by a substitute. I had no idea that Permian would do what they did. In August, just before school started, the principal that handles the class schedules told me that the calculus classes would be held in reserve for me. I could have them back when I was up to it. (That surprised me. I thought that I was giving them up completely.) Well, I will get one of the classes back next Friday, at the end of the Nine Week grading period. I will get the other one back at the beginning of the second semester.
I taught our Bible class last Sunday for a discussion leader who was out of town. The topic was “Why Does God let Satan Hurt Us?” I decided to talk about things that I had learned in the last 3 months. I will briefly list the points I made.
1. Our God is an awesome God. When I heard the word, “cancer” I knew I was going to die. The pictures from the scope down my throat were awful. Three months later, my throat is clear. That is more than I thought possible in July. God, who made the world, can do amazing things.
2. The importance of the Christian family supporting one another. I have been blessed abundantly with card and prayer-grams and prayers of people I know. I looked forward to the mail coming. Knowing that so many people cared gave me a reason to continue.
3. I benefited from facing death. It made me think about what is really important in life. It made me admit how very fragile I am, and place my life in God’s hands.
4. There is a peace from God that comes to those who live Godly lives. Some may think that I live a boring life, but it is a life that if I die tomorrow, I would have no heart-breaking regrets.
5.Hardships have strengthened our family. Jana and I are closer than we were a year ago. My boys have seen their father in a time of weakness – very different from seeing their father as a maker-of-rules. My sisters and my parents have spent much time taking care of me.
6. This illness has made me take a good look at commitments that take me away from my family. Time is so short. I hope that I can balance the demands away from home with spending time with those I really care about.
7. Life is so uncertain that if you think that you can plan your life, you had better think again. I had just reached a level of professional respect that I had worked all my life to achieve. I had plans for the future. Those plans melted in a moment when the doctor said, “You have cancer.” The lesson is that we should always realize that we are in God’s hands. We should guard against feelings of self-importance.”
David Love
posted by D Love at 1:07 PM
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